Why would I court women? Everything is clear without! “You are attractive, I’m devilishly attractive,” – said a character in a famous movie. Why would we mark time and drop curtseys, when there are so many things around us claiming our time and attention? Many women agree with these statements, but when they stop feeling like women in the presence of a man, they start thinking more seriously over this problem.
Eat a chocolate, baby
We are all children by origin. We are not only discovering the world around for the first time at that light-hearted time, but something inside ourselves, too. Having dropped porridge on a baby’s bib, some children may hear things like “be careful, you are a young lady”; other kids may be reprimanded for crying because of a hurt knee by the following statement: “Don’t whine, men do not cry.” As a rule, everything is limited to the abovementioned statements. As a result, girls grow up and become quite neat ladies, and boys become real men, who have enough grit to hold out in the face of many difficult real-life situation. But many men have to learn the rules of behavior in simpler personal relationships much later, at the quite conscious age.
Let’s examine one of the most common examples with the code name “with empty hands”. It would seem that there is nothing supernatural in buying some simple provisions in a supermarket, when you are going to visit a woman. It is not too difficult or cost-based, but, in spite of vigorous activity of female media and pickup movements, men still come to our doorsteps as is, “with empty hands”. If you are fortunate, he will bring a bar of chocolate. And it is a controversial question, if a bar of chocolate is a suitable present. Why does it happen? It happens because he comes back home with little luggage after the hard day’s work, and nobody demands anything from him for a hot supper. And if the refrigerator is empty, his mom will always provide him with the detailed pasta cooking SMS instruction. And in this case a bar of chocolate is a symbol of a happy childhood for all children.
Ladies and gentlemen
People say that a woman makes a man. I don’t want to argue, but sometimes I just want to find that woman and ask her a couple of questions, for example, how exactly does she do it and how does she achieve the desired results. Unfortunately, it is not always possible. Especially if you take into account, that his mother is not always that very woman. It often happens that it is his ex-wife who is responsible of your beloved’s bad skills and inability to court women.
Many male forums are full of legends about clever and refined beauties; according to these legends, even the most hopeless gentleman would want to court these ladies. However, having got up from a sofa, on which you have spent the last 30 years, it is impossible to turn into a super gentleman from an untalented lamer you’ve always been. There is a difference between “to be able” and “to want”.
In truth, the myth about a superwoman who is capable of turning an ordinary man into a knight is not just the myth; there are women who can make that dream come true. You only need to use three simple rules.
The first rule: don’t miss romance
In order not to make unsubstantiated statements, for starters, let’s make sense of terminology. What does it mean “to court women”? Is it an offer to look at falling stars from the roof of the nearby building or an invitation to walk along Elysian Fields, including shopping? In theory, both examples are quite romantic, but everything can turn out differently in practice. Paris and shopping implies photos against the background of the Eiffel Tower and captions like “Me and Bridget next to the Eiffel Tower!”. Then you can upload your photos to social networks, and all your colleagues will be admiring your stylish shoes. And what on earth does she have to say to her friends after sending the night on the roof drinking beer? Especially, if these friends just came back from Paris in new stylish shoes.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t forget about the fact that a man really wanted to give pleasure to a woman. To be more precise, you must not forget about it! Yes, he didn’t sleep the previous night, choosing the roof with the best view of the town. And he was tenderly giving her hand, while she was cursing him in her mind and trying to climb up at the cost of broken legs and damaged sandals.
Here is the conclusion: difference between the male and female idea about fine gestures may be so big, that some of these gestures can be easily misinterpreted as attempts to jeer at your sense of beauty. So before accusing a man of inability to court women think a bit. Don’t you put out of account his efforts?
The second rule: get into contact
“What is the use of these efforts?” – some people may ask and they will be right. Yes, you can react emotionally, but not sincerely, saying “WOW”, but then you will start saying more modestly “yes, thanks, I wanted the pink ones with a frog, but these black ones with Spider Man are ok, too”. And then you will reach your limit: too much beer in your organism and lack of “pink with strasses” around you start undermining your health and emotional atmosphere. Besides, it is very difficult to pretend all the time.
Here are complaints of one quite romantic man in love. By the way, a man rich enough to buy his girlfriend dozens of sandals. He told: “I was ready to do anything for her. I tried to charm her in different ways. We woke up once, she didn’t like something, sulked and turned away. I went and bought her a bouquet of roses to make her happy. I don’t like to boast, but I brought her 63 roses! I bought all roses in the in the flower shop. Useless! It turned out that she didn’t like red roses!”
Here is the conclusion: it is good when everyone feels good. Any free person has the right to be offended and turn away, but if she is has just a bit of common sense, she will eventually look at a man and explain clearly what exactly she didn’t like and what roses he must bring to help her forget his unfortunate false step. The efficiency of a specific mental effort will be increased tenfold: money is spent expertly, and harmony is restored. If it is obvious that a man is ready to perform exploits, but he doesn’t know what exploits you would like, you should give him a hint. Why not?
The third rule: relax and enjoy
To teach a man how to court women is a long, effortful and sometimes thankless process. Dull thought come into your mind once in a while: all your efforts were repaid one day, but another undoubtedly good woman would reap a harvest, but not you. Well-wishers whisper you time after time: buy only the thing that suits you or the process of fitting may continue for years. But the most annoying trap awaits you ahead. Because when you achieve everything you dreamed about, you want to howl like a wolf. Because you feel boring! It’s awfully boring, when he precisely guesses what to buy and where to go together from year to year. It turns out that romance is not a course of studies, which can be learned by an industrious pupil, who then will pass an exam and so on and so forth. Romance is a true art. It’s creativity with flights, breathes in and out, crises, falls and flashes of inspiration. You start remembering infamous roofs and other sweet and simple things with such melancholy that you are literally a footstep away from seeking something like that elsewhere.
And now you should remember about uniqueness of the notion itself. Only the man who really loves knows what true courting is. He does it sincerely, from his heart, because of nobleness of his nature and fascination with women’s feelings, but not at her instigation or by a wave of the magic wand. As the saying is, if you really want something, you not only can fly above the romantic skies, but take your beloved with you, too.
Here is the conclusion: courting is an integral part of love, its right hand and all-seeing eye. You can spend a lot of time trying to develop effective methods for creation of romantic men – models of care and generosity. You can even succeed. But there is nothing better than a casual word, glance, touch or gesture, which unexpectedly arises from nowhere.
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